Returned Mail

My mail keeps getting returned! It says "Address Not Found" or RTS (Return to Sender.)

 

USPS is strange. I've gotten Xmas cards returned with "address not found" or "address does not exist" labels on them. I still have to re-mail them. I'm... bad at cards and stuff.

When this happens, just message your partner. Tell them what, specifically, the envelope says and type in the address written on the envelope. Take a photo of the envelope, which is time-stamped. If you're feeling unsure, e-mail that photo to yourself with what it is in the subject line (SB: Returned Mail from UserName.) That e-mail can always be forwarded to your partner later.

 

Check the address on the envelope against the address the user listed.

Sometimes people move, especially with apartments, and forget to update the SB address. Sending a message promptly confirms the correct address and shows a time stamp on contact.

 

Sometimes, the machines that read handwriting will read your writing the wrong way. Red or pink ink or any ink that too closely matches the envelope colour is a bigger risk of misreading. Sometimes, it's a handwriting issue. I like using an address label maker (the kind that prints one at a time) because my joints suck but it took me time to afford one. Otherwise, I would write the address in all caps and put a piece of clear packing tape over it, so if there was water damage, the label would survive at least.

 

Sometimes, mail IS at the correct address! And... why it doesn't arrive... is a mystery. Who knows. If you or someone you know works for USPS, clue me in.

The cure seems to be the ZIP+4. Writing to the address with the ZIP code alone will get it sent back. Writing with ZIP+4 will arrive. Why? I don't know. Seriously no idea. It just works. 

If your partner puts their address at 90210+1234, it is a good idea to write exactly that. Do not write 90210 and leave off the last 4 digits. It may not arrive. That +4 is there for a reason.

Stamp Price Increase, Counterfeit Stamps, + Spotting Scams

US Stamp prices increase ~Jan. 21st. Save money by buying your commonly-used postage before then!

Second part, also very important: 

Anatomy of one well-made counterfeit stamps site and how to discover if YOUR retailer is counterfeit:

Counterfeit stamps are becoming more and more prevalent. This method really works for ANY online purchase, but in this case, it's about stamps.

Because USPS is a federal agency, it is a federal crime *per stamp* to use counterfeits, fake stamps that look like the real thing. There's lot of charges that could be used like interstate fraud, if your fraudulent stamp goes from your state to another, etc. It is a serious charge and right now is an *especially* bad time to try it because the USPS is desperate for income... because Postmaster General DeJoy expects the post office to run like a business, unlike literally every other federal service. You will be made into an example and likely crushed by fines and jail time, which will put more money into the prison system than you can imagine. 

 

OBVIOUS signs of your stamps being counterfeit:
- Do they come from a retailer like AliBaba, Ebay, Wish, or Amazon? Those are automatically fake.

- Compare them to the genuine thing: are they poor print quality, not the same paper, image is off from the real thing, or anything at all? By this time, you've already been scammed, but at least stop yourself from committing a felony. Report it to the USPS Help section directly. If you paid with credit card, contact them as well.

A well-made counterfeit stand-alone website:

A stand-alone website is a site that is like yoursite.com (example.) Amazon is not necessarily a 'stand-alone' because it's one hub where thousands of retailers all use the same site. Ebay and Etsy are the same. If you buy from fedex.com, you buy from ONLY Fed Ex. Anyone can sell through Wish, Temu, or Shein.

I almost fell to a very decent scam last week, advertised through Facebook. 

The scam was a retailer who had bought out of date or old stamps and then sold them in bulk (must buy 5 or more packages or rolls) for a small discount. 

 

Note that Stamps.com also legitimately sells stamps at a discount for a monthly subscription fee, and other sites do discount postage for using their services (like Etsy or Ebay.) Is it unusual for a retailer to have some kind of mass-buying bargain with USPS? Well... actually, it's plausible. When I ran a shop online for a decade, only stopping because of Etsy allowing factories- and then COVID hit, the death blow- I got discounted shipping all the time.

This site was advertised through Facebook (ANYONE can advertise there, by the way. Lots of scam sites do because they don't care who or where it is, they just want your money.) 

 

There were no odd misspellings or grammar, but even if there were, it's a yield sign and not a red flag. Lots of people speak more than one language outside the US, and lots of people IN the US speak 2-3 languages. I met a 6 year old who was fluent in English and Portuguese yesterday. Many of my friends from the UK fluently speak 3-4 languages, and they're from *England,* the only place in the world I'd expect *English* to be the only language. People in Germany easily speak and write 4-5 out of high school. America seems to be the only country pushing a "one language" narrative. Someone got a word wrong? They're *dyslexic* or English is their 2nd, 3rd, 4th language! We park in driveways and drive in parkways. Yes, it is that hard.

 

The sites photographs were professionally done and had multiple sizes, so whoever downloaded the original photos did a good job of having clear, large photo options of the actual stamps released. Few to no current designs, only past years' back to ~2011. That was the reason for the discount; these are unsold, back-issue stamps, sold by USPS to discount retailers for bulk prices. 

 

There were other things like good organisation, clear sans-serif text in a font size that was more easily able to be read, none of this grey-on-grey "aesthetic" BS that makes it difficult for people to use the website, etc.

 

And it was completely counterfeit.

Use Paypal or 3rd Party to Pay- Do NOT Use Credit Cards!

When buying from an 'unknown' site, anyone who is not *extremely* popular (and even then!) I use Paypal. That is because I can put my card on file with Paypal, but the transaction goes through Paypal as a middleman. I have buyer protections with Paypal and can quickly file a dispute. If I find it difficult to file a dispute electronically, I'll call them.

 

If I use my credit card directly through the site and they are illegitimate, that site is likely looking to trap credit card info to resell it. 

 

Security measures ask for your ZIP code when using a credit card number, right? What a better way to get it than to set up a PRODUCT SELLING website! They ask for your address, confirm that it's your billing address (just like genuine retail sites) and then they have your credit info.

Even though you can get your money back by calling the credit card company, your credit card info is compromised now. It WILL be resold and anyone will use it. 

Most fake charges are less than $5. That's because if they capture 1000 credit cards and bill for a negligible $5, most people never notice it. $5 x 1000 = $5000 on a scam, *easily.* 

 

These scams sometimes set up real names of common uses; one credit card, compromised through Ebay, had a $10 charge for GoodRx. GoodRx at the time did have a genuine $10 gold member program! And millions of Americans use GoodRx because it's cheaper than our insurance, IF we have insurance. The problem was... I do not use GoodRx. I also check every line of my credit charges weekly. Check the charges on your credit cards to make sure they are real, even if they look like something you use.

So what ended up happening?

I have fibro + a bunch of chronic health issues that I talk about. And post-COVID... I have to tell you, 1 in 5 COVID survivors have some degree of long COVID, with dysautonomia as a prevalent set of symptoms. Normally I think to investigate a new site before buying anything, but that day I didn't. I looked into it after I got the confirmation email.

And that's exactly what these sites are looking for. 

They are TARGETING people who have some kind of brain fog, ADHD (more common than you think,) autism (likelihood of believing reasonable-sounding lies: high. Also, this is 1 in 65 people.) Do you have chronic fatigue, long COVID, or just plain have WAY too many responsibilities? The brain get fatigued, just like any other part of the body when overloaded. Maybe you're having cognitive issues related to aging or a TBI from football or the military.

When you put all that together, we're looking at a potential pool of most people.

 

Anyone can be targeted. Yes, even you, reading this right now. 

Likely, you don't fall for 500 scams attempted on you in a year. Or a month, in my case. But occasionally, every now and then, like every 5-6 years... you *will* inevitably have that one that worked on you. Even if it was just $10. $10 from 1000 people is $10,000 for the scammer, yeah?

The confirmation e-mail

There are ways to see original sender vs. supposed sender of an email. Every email system has a different button or set of buttons to show this information. If they are different, that's a good sign the sender is not legitimate.

 

When I got the confirmation email, the email sender name was not the name of the site, or "Name from Company." The subject line was a shipping confirmation, but the email read like a weird cross between a typical shipping confirmation and a scam email. 

 

The email site origin was not the site purchased from. So website purchased from was different than confirmation@secondwebsite . That's odd. Websites usually come with 1-5 email addresses these days. It's a standard part of a website package, when you buy site building and hosting services.

Gmail makes it easier to check than others I've used. 

 

When making most purchases, Gmail will figure out that it's a purchase confirmation and put your items and total. It will show the sender's e-mail address BUT that can be spoofed (faked.) They used to just target businesses, and I think mostly they still do, but individuals can get spoofed e-mails FROM "businesses," too. IF the sender didn't mess up and send the confirmation email from a totally different site than the one you purchased from (like this scammer did,) you can check to see that the email "sent from" matches the sender. 

In Gmail, use "Show original" to see more information about the email sender. It will show the message ID, date, from/to, subject line, and then some data they use to authenticate email origin.

Papa Johns fails the DMARC test, so it often goes to Spam automatically- even if it's a legit e-mail. You have to mark it as "Not Spam." 

Most fake email is auto-detected though. If you make a purchase and don't get a confirmation email, check your Spam filters. If the purchase was not made on a major site that everyone's heard of, like Amazon or Ebay, and your confirmation went to spam... that site is probably run by a scammer.

If you really want, you can google WhoIs on an IP
address and match up domain origins. Put an IP address into Whois.com , a free IP lookup service. 

Does the data in the Original Message match the data on the WhoIs lookup?

This is where the scammer failed. You can't hide your true origins.

The site name for the confirmation was different, which is an immediate red flag, but also the IP lookup for that address was registered to AliBaba. AliBaba does not sell any kind of legitimate US federal items. Therefore, these are counterfeit.

Do NOT wait! File the fraud charges ASAP!

even if you still expect to receive something. It does not matter. So what if someone sends you a t-shirt? They probably won't, but even if they do, that is a scam website that exists to harvest data from you and people like you. REPORT THEM to people who might be able to do something about it, like Paypal and your credit card company, so they can watch for charges from yourself and others. 

The resolution

Easy and painless. Paypal was able to get the money back within 24 hours of filing, even though nothing had been "shipped." You don't have to wait on counterfeit or fraudulent charges. If you can't find the option easily, call them.

Because I did not put my credit card info directly into the website, they don't have it. Otherwise, I would have to call the credit card company and shut down the card. 

Even so, if you don't already have a credit monitoring service, you may wish to look into options. 

 

Experian has one for free, and I use CreditKarma, which checks my credit often- for new accounts, rotating balances, shared accounts, debts in collection, etc. CreditKarma is free and gives me the ability to dispute charges on debt collections. They also have lots of tutorials and articles on better managing your credit score. Even if you don't have a credit card right now, and really don't see the point (I mean. same.) credit score is important to your every day life. I don't care WHO or HOW you check your credit score, tbh. A better score means better rental rates on housing, lower or no security deposits, better auto loans, etc. If you never had credit before, you can't even get established in many places because you are a total unknown. And a scammer can PLUMMET your credit, fast.

 

 

I don't get paid to say any of that, sadly. I'd like to cover stuff like medical bills... but nope. just tellin' y'all so you don't pay ridiculous interest rates on stuff if you don't need to. 

Stay safe out there!

Flakers + Ratings

"Flakers" are people who sign up for a swap and don't send their end of the bargain. 

Often, these people don't reply to messages. IF you leave a poor rating, they MIGHT respond to it- but only because of public image. They rely on others agreeing that it was Just a Mistake!1! and to feel bad for the flaker when the Mean, Bad Swapper left a Negative Rating for them. ... oy. 

Have you ever seen that tactic? It has a name.

Image: DARVO statement examples
from Ray Family Therapy

That example is a form of DARVO, and it's super-common.

“DARVO is an acronym that stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim Offender. It describes a manipulative tactic often used by abusers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift the blame onto their victims.” - Avigail Lev, PsyD, founder of Bay Area CBT Center and CBTonline.

Most people think of DARVO in context of abusive domestic relationships. Thing is, this social tactic is only practiced IN those relationships because the perpetrator has gotten comfortable using it with everything else. Often, the perpetrator isn't even aware that this is a form of abuse... It's probably even normal for them to experience from someone else! But 'normal' is not the same as 'healthy.' DARVO is normal, and normalized. And when it's small, like a stupid envelope of paper, it doesn't really matter right?

But it does. It does when you are the one leaving the honest negative rating for a swap that factually never arrived, on a swapper that you factually DID message, and factually never got back a response. It does when you're essentially getting bullied or silenced because you don't want to look like the Bad Guy when in actuality, they're the Bad Guy. Backing down lets bad people escape consequences.

Most people do the things they do, both positive and negative, because it has worked in their favour before. Whatever their personal values equate as "favourable" to themselves, a thing that works should keep working. Behaviour isn't random, even if it LOOKS like it on the outside. Learning this will help you with every single person you ever meet- it isn't just for a stupid mail site!

DARVO tactics are a demonstrable public ability to twist things around on strangers, to the approval of other strangers. And if those strangers "approve," it's not REALLY a Bad Thing, is it? And if the victim (the bad rater) breaks down and feels bad and changes the rating, that's further reinforcement that THEY didn't do anything wrong- the bad rater was a mean person for rating bad. Factually, the bad rating was a FAIR rating because the swap never arrived and the person never responded to messages, but public opinion is what dictates right/wrong. The wrongness isn't in the flaking, it's in whether they get punished for it. And the flaker feels like they do NOT deserve punishment. They have "Reasons!" (All of which are important and valid to them, with a lack of regard towards others.)

Being raised by a clinical narcissist (not the buzzword kind all over TikTok, the DSM kind) I've learned to make things as transparent as possible while attempting to protect certain information. It's a weird balance that's taken 20 years to kind-of figure out. The internet wasn't that big when I was a teen so there weren't hundreds of people better educated and more experienced than me to exchange tactics and psychology. Most of you, hopefully, will never ever need to be this level of on-guard! But I do have to say that it's taught me a LOT about "CYA policies," how law works, and how people generally behave (both positive and negative.) Most people are actually quite good, or they're trying to be much better people. Even people who have really bad habits (often) don't want to be harmful. Here's the problem: my name is not followed by PhD, LMHC, or MD. Chances are, yours isn't either. If it is, you probably are not some random person's therapist. 

On Swap-bot, we are here to trade letters and craft supplies. No one is here to be your doctor or mine. You cannot fix someone who twists stuff all around on you.

This is a guide to asking yourself how to handle a problem user: What to do if someone is rude to me on Swap-bot?

This is why I say to leave comments publicly on a profile. The catch is that the user can delete your comment on their profile. 

It's also why I save all messages until they are no longer relevant and keep open communication with Group Admins. Keep your messages and if problems arise, like someone demanding you change ratings or berating you in messages or forums, screencap it and e-mail it to yourself to keep the timestamps. 

If you are being harassed or threatened via Snail Mail, that is a federal crime. Even if you don't think that person is "actually serious" or capable of carrying out the threat, the reason that person feels so comfortable SENDING threats is because no one has sufficiently held them accountable.

"Keep any letter that attempts to scare, threaten or extort you in any way, and report it to the Postal Inspection Service by calling 1-877-876-2455. If you or anyone you know is being bullied, online or in person, tell a trusted friend or a loved one."

Public ratings are extremely important to keep everyone appraised of great swappers AND flakers/double profilers/unreliable swappers.

Sometimes, a late swap or a swap not showing is just a thing that happens with USPS. None of us control that. It sucks. But that's why it's so important to do some due diligence before assuming someone has flaked on you. Not everyone is signed up to get an e-mail if you send a message. 

But if you HAVE taken these steps and someone is MOST LIKELY a flaker, giving them a low rating is appropriate and important to protect the SB community. 

Don't worry about any backlash for doing what is correct and fair. Most users stick up for each other. We don't want to be the next person to fall for it.

You can also list that flaker here, and if you like, leave a short note about any retaliation you received.

UPDATED 10/5/23 - Tracking + Insurance

TRACKING:

Sometimes post offices have a hard time sending mail accurately. This is more prevalent in smaller towns and more rural areas. They pick up mail more slowly, due to a variety of factors, and seem to lose it more often. This also seems to happen when delivering from large apartment complexes for some reason.

How do you tell the difference between someone who actually DID send their swap, but it never arrived (and they blame the post office) and someone who never sent anything at all, but then blamed the post office? You can't. 

Protect yourself if your PO has a history of losing or misdelivering mail.

First:

 

If you take your mail in person to a USPS location, stand in line, and drop it off with a person at the counter, you can request a receipt. If you just dump it in a drop-box, obviously you won't get one. You *can* do this online but I've found the printed labels to be way too large for a letter.

 

Image: a USPS receipt
dated 10/4/23 with
tracking and no
tracking on mail

USPS does not put tracking numbers on all mail. I have receipts with lists of outbound mail but after ~July, when rates when up and services changed, the only mail with tracking is specific types of ground packages, media mail, and Priority- which is the majority of what I send. Letters and postcards will not qualify for tracking unless you buy trackable options. 

 

The locations and full tracking numbers (which can reveal locations) are covered in blue. The first item has tracking + insurance included. The second does not.

 

A receipt will still show where your mail was sent, so you can't show that you sent it to someone's specific address, but it WILL show the city/state it was mailed to and the estimated delivery date. The second item demonstrates this.

Be aware that a RECEIPT may not mean there is any recourse if a letter goes missing. Realistically, there are millions of pieces of mail in the system at any given time. They can see where it was last scanned and ask local staff to look for it, but... odds are Not Good. Receipts just show that you really did mail it. If you want some kind of recourse, ask your post office what options are right for your package. Anything with insurance is great protection! But please look up what kind of proof you need to make an insurance claim in advance.

If you have a tracking number, use the Tracking service. Here is a FAQ on what statuses mean.

Second:

If you have this problem, even just once or twice, you need to be proactive. File a complaint in person with the local post office. Let them know that this is happening. It's probably rare but sometimes carriers just don't do their jobs or for some weird reason steal mail. idk. Just in case something is going wrong, take it up with the local office.

If it's more than just once, especially if there isn't a legitimate problem like idk, the freaking hurricane in Cape Coral (FL) this year, you need to file complaints with USPS via Contact Us. There is a phone number, e-mail, mail tracking if you have a number, and other options.

INSURANCE:

If you want to ensure there is some kind of insurance to be paid back, read the USPS insurance rules about claiming and evidence of costs. Insurance can be purchased on anything, usually starting at a few dollars. Priority Mail items automatically have insurance on them.

Sometimes the cost of mailing items + insurance is the same or nearly the same as Priority, so I usually just upgrade to that. Standard Mail might take longer than 10 business days, but Priority usually takes 2-3 business days. If the price is very close, my preference is to just upgrade. This can be done most easily in-person, where the computer will bring up all options in one go, vs. using the computer and hoping it's the right dimensions or classification or whatever. 

INFORMED DELIVERY:

USPS has a free service you can sign up for. They send daily scans of your mail that is supposed to arrive that day or quite soon. It's called Informed Delivery.

https://www.usps.com/manage/informed-delivery.htm

You can find out what mail to expect a day or two before it's in your mailbox.

This has come in handy once or twice when my ID e-mail says a card or letter is coming but then it doesn't show up in 48 hours. Sometimes, the scanned side of a postcard will show what's written on it, and I can rate the swapper on it same-day. 

 

COMMUNICATE! 

It is best practice to take a photo of the receipt same-day and message your partner with the tracking info if you have it. Even if you don't, photograph the receipt showing the delivery city. Photographs can only be sent through e-mail. For a number, you can use SB messenger, subject "SwapName Tracking Info." 

Ask your partner about missing items before rating. Ratings can be adjusted/updated.

Read this post about not receiving swaps.

UPDATED 10/5/23 - Late Swaps, No Arrivals, Tracking + Receiving

Receiving mail + CYA Sending

First, sign up for USPS Informed Delivery. This sends a daily email to show you which mail has been scanned in for your address. This mail should be arriving same day or within a day or two. It is FREE.

UPDATED SECTION - USPS does not offer tracking for letters or postcards, only for what they consider First Class Packages via Ground Advantage. Anything small that doesn't qualify as a "letter" basically, Priority Mail, and some international mail. You can BUY tracking on almost any mail.

For showing that you mailed an item, get a receipt. If you are worried about time or labour costs, you can always buy tracking + insurance. This is especially important for anything handmade, 2oz or more, or anything intensive or worth more than a few dollars to reproduce. Read up on the rules for making an insurance claim to ensure you can file.

You need to go in person to a post office for a receipt.

Take your mail in person to a USPS location, stand in line, and drop it off with a person at the counter. You can request a receipt. SOME ITEMS come with tracking IF they meet qualifications. If you just dump it in a drop-box, obviously you won't get one. Tracking can show that you mailed a thing. It does NOT ensure that it arrives. You do NOT have recourse if it arrives damaged or not at all. It just shows that the item was mailed and you didn't flake on anyone.

This is a copy of my receipt from yesterday. The locations and full tracking numbers (which can reveal locations) are covered in blue. The first item has tracking + insurance included. The second does not.

This is the FAQ from USPS on Tracking.

Take a photo of the receipt, even if it doesn't have tracking on it. 

At least it shows that you mailed SOMETHING to that city. That way if the receipt accidentally gets heated (and carbonizes, when receipts turn black) or if it gets damaged, you know the numbers. Message the partner the proof, preferably same-day when it's fresh in your mind.

If it's a valuable item and you feel it's worth it, get insurance.

The USPS site is hardly comprehensive, I think. It takes a lot of digging to figure out how things work for normal people who don't already know the system internally. Oy. If you need answers, write down your questions as you think of them and take notes.

Late swap? No arrival? A few things could be happening.

• Check deadline date to send. For many USA items, 2 weeks is around the current USPS estimate for arrival. Be aware of weather that could delay things (like hurricanes, blizzards, extreme heat.) Somehow stuff from one county to the next is being shipped all over the USA. ::rolls eyes:: Yeah, idk why either. But first I give the benefit of the doubt.

• If it's been 2 weeks, send the partner a message. Keep it simple. "Hey, I'm your partner is Swap Name. I haven't gotten the envelope yet." Set a reasonable deadline to receive it. I've sent these messages and gotten the swap 4 days later- a day after the partner resent it. x.x But if a swap DOESN'T come by the date? The person can re-send it. Yep, even if it's me. :P

  Example:

  "Hi! I am your partner for Forgot to Swap 2, Let's Don't Stop Remembering! The deadline was Jan. 1st. Today is Jan. 31st and the swap hasn't arrived. Are you able to re-send it? Thank you!"

  (the partner responds within 2-3 days, Feb. 3rd. they will re-send. they did not specify a date.)

  "Thanks! Please re-send by Feb. 6th so I can rate."

  Do not rapid/repeat message someone. It puts people off and makes them avoidant and unwilling to answer you.
  

• SB typically sends an email for messages unless the user turned that off. If there is no answer to the message within 3 business days, rate that person accordingly and mention that your message was not responded to. It shows that you did attempt to reach out first. RATINGS CAN BE AMENDED LATER. Do not feel guilty about this. You can comment on that person's profile without rating but I don't think many hosts check *comments,* just ratings. 

  It is important to rate fairly even if the person generally has good ratings. If YOU didn't get your item and have tried communicating, and failed, I bet other people are also not receiving things... and that user maintains their good rating because no one wants to ruin their good score. See the problem?